That was my Facebook status a couple days ago. For good reason. Short version, full confession: The deck was completely stacked against my diet and I caved.
We had a pizza party at work, a meeting with delicious baked goods, and a filming weekend coming up. I had no prep done, I was busy and drained. So I had a cheat day.
I don't feel too badly about it, I do feel bummed that I broke my streak, obviously, (I was at 11 days!) but I don't really feel like a failure. I hadn't planned right, I had literally nothing else -- but starving wasn't an option. My spirits also were just not up for such a fight because of the sheer busy-ness of the day. So I had some pizza, and a delicious slice of a coworker's baked creation, a strawberry sweet cake. It was divine. It also filled me up for the rest of the day.
I promised myself to make up for it by adding another day at the end of the 30. I did the math, I cross the challenge finish line on July 13th. I'll make it the 15th because I'm a superstitious gal. I think there's something finite and official and lucky about the ides of any month. (Even March. Hail poor Caesar.)
So. For good luck, I'm calling it on July 15th. At that point I will re-evaluate what this diet means to me, how I feel, and most importantly, what I will plan to do next.
The oddest thing on my cheat day was, that whenever I had a non-paleo meal, I felt sluggish. It's weird, because it was so subtle and completely not noticeable unless you're looking for it. I certainly never noticed it before I started eating salads for days on end and realized by stark comparison what bread made me feel.
I think at least some of what they say about wheat and diary is true. They are heavy foods. If you're used to eating them all the time, it makes sense that you get used to feeling a bit slow after every meal. But now that I've been eating better and obsessing over labels, the difference is clear.
In that observation, I've achieved the real goal of this test. I saw for myself how it feels to eat clean and then compare the feeling to what happens when I eat what I previously regarded not only as normal food, but in most cases, as healthy food. My life is changed forever by this experience.
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I know now, because of this challenge, that wheat is going under the 'treat' category of my life. It really truly is low in nutrition and high in sloth content. I felt the difference for myself, there's no question.
Gone are the days of sandwiches several times a day and toast on the side of my eggs and bacon. I'm genuinely concerned with things like vitamins and proteins and healthy ways to fuel my system. It's like my view has changed on what gives my body the best bang for its buck.
I've learned to shop in the produce isle. I've found a good groove for dealing with meats and prepping my kitchen. I love fruits and veggies so much, I can barely understand the sweetness levels of candy anymore (I had M&Ms on my cheat day. Even a Twizzler. Holy pajama pants, what a jolt! Fun, but you know what? I would have traded them for raspberries in a heart beat.)
I feel re-synced with the natural order of things. I feel great. That said, I won't cut bread out of my life completely when this is over. Doesn't everyone deserve the occasional buttered roll? And I still believe that rice and oatmeal are healthier than the rap they get from Paleo aficionados. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
For now, I've got my eyes on the finish line. July 15th, here I come! There are more bumps ahead. I have filming today and two endurance races that stand between me and the final goal.
I feel like I'm going to need these next two weeks to figure out the balance I'm looking for.
Diets never work. It has to be a steady constant life choice, that's the only thing that will stick and work for anyone.
It's that way of life I'm trying to figure out now. I'm testing and tinkering -- and ultimately choosing what I'm going to commit to. That stretches way past the reaches of this challenge. I'm not thinking of these next 14 days anymore. (I've got these two weeks in the BAG!)
No, I'm thinking of what happens after that.
:-)
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