The Last(ish) Hurrah

Folks, this might be among my last entries for this blog.

I hope you've enjoyed the ride with me! I sure had fun sharing all these odd thoughts and experiences with you all :-) I'm hanging up the quill for now, as there's not much new news I can report. I know if I think of any more awesome recipes or have a particularly hysterical ball of yarn to spin for you, I'll post again. Just not as consistently or as often.

On the whole, I've hit a good plateau with Paleo. I think I've figured out what I want to do next.

Paleo is definitely awesome. I feel great, I lost a few pounds, even my skin looks better. I genuinely love the food and I love how I feel. So I'm sticking to it. Just not 100%. That would feel a bit too strict for me. So I'm gonna try the 3 cheat-meal limit per week approach and see if I can hack it.

My first sin is behind me - I had pizza the other night, to celebrate the done-ism of the 30 days. I kind of regretted it after, I felt all globby and guilty. Partly because it was pizza, partly because I tore into said pizza like a honey badger tears into a cobra.

Below is a picture of my second, most favorite, most long-awaited, most glorious sin of sins.... (Ah, my dear sweet Boca Grande, how I've missed you!)...

... and then I have a 3rd cheat, but I think I'll leave #3 in the bank this week. (I really did do a number on that pizza.)

We'll see how this approach goes! Cheat days are definitely easier, but I don't want to limit stuff on a timeline and lose all flexibility. What if my cheat day rolls around and I don't feel like cheating? What if I'm out with folks trying a new fondue dinner spot but it's not my cheat day? Seems like a bit of a bummer. Nah, I'ma try the occasional meal thing first. I think I have the willpower to pull it off. (I hope!)

So that's it for a while!

Enjoy your days, dear readers! I do hope you got a kick out of this blog, such as it is. It's been a real pleasure :-)

I wish you health and happiness and success in your own diet journeys, whatever they may be!

 "♪ Reunited! And it feels so GOOD! ♫ ♪ "

Let's Go Bar Shopping!

Everyone knows what it's like to be on the go. We all love the convenience of grabbing a quick snack, jamming it into a bag or coat pocket, and blazing a trail out the door.

Things like grab-and-go yogurt, string cheese, and breakfast bars just make life so much easier. Granola bars were my personal favorite :-)

You know, before Paleo...

Here's a TOP 5 Review list of some Snack Bars and Health Bars that used to be my friends, and where I stand with them now that I'm post-paleo-experiment.

#5 Quaker Oat Bars:

HISTORY:

I LIVED by these things! They were the best! I'd pop into CVS, stock up on the cheap, and not have to worry about having granola bars on hand for ages! I liked the variety packs the best.

NOW:
I read the label. Wall of chemistry. I ate my first one in a long time (since Paleo wouldn't let me near it) and the moment I opened the package, I regretted it. The smell hit me like a brick; the taste was so sweet it was bitter; the consistency was grainy and plastic-y... my taste buds rejected it immediately.

VERDICT:
Never again. Yikes.

#4 Nature Valley

HISTORY:
I discovered these when I started caring more about hiking and having healthy snacks at work. They were great! 200 calories at most, depending on your favorite flavor, and most of the ingredients looked normal and good.

NOW:
There's too much chemistry in there. Canola oil, four different types of flour, sugar, corn meal, and my personal favorite: "Natural Flavors". Gah!

VERDICT:
Sadly, I'm not going to get these ever again.

#3 Clif Bars

HISTORY:
I had these for every hiking trip, rock climbing excursion, and day out I can remember. It was my sport bar. A delicious snack for a gal on the move.

NOW:
Maldextrones and Sodiums and Food color 9 and who remembers what else... I'm so sad :-(

VERDICT:
I can't. There's more science lab refuse in these guys than actual food. :-(

#3 KIND bars

HISTORY:
When I really started focusing on healthy eating, just before starting Paleo, I came to hear of this company. My first reaction was "Wait, what? NO preservatives or anything???

I couldn't believe the ingredients list!! I, of course, fell in love!

NOW:
I'm still in love with KIND. Very few bars are Paleo friendly, but they're so delicious and made entirely from the good stuff, that I still think they're awesome.

VERDICT:
It's a treat, and I have to read each label, but yes indeedy, they are SO on my to-buy list.

#2 Lara Bar

HISTORY:
I didn't hear about this company before starting Paleo. So... there is no history...

NOW:
WHAT??THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!! 100% REAL FOOD! YESSSSSS!!!

VERDICT:
Yes! Like with KIND bars, I have to read the labels, but I absolutely plan to have these around :-)

#1 Trader Joe's Fruit Bar

HISTORY:
Just as I was starting Paleo, I remember being worried about a Filming weekend that would have me away from fresh produce. I went to Trader Joe's in a desperate last-ditch effort to TRY to find something I could actually eat. They had these in the "we're trying these out" section.

I bought some. And was stunned. Each bar really only has two fruit ingredients. That's IT.

NOW:
They seriously only mashed up fruit and dried it into bar form. I'm in awe. And so happy that it's available.

VERDICT:
Aaaaaabsolutely!


So! There you have it! My personal review, with limited commercial interruption.

I'm so happy there are companies turning back to the rawest ingredients. I feel like I have more options. And, philosophically, I feel like I'm not the only one out there that wishes for more companies to create things like this. Supply and demand, right? Now I don't feel like such a "That Guy" in the stores anymore :-)

Burrito Blocker and Bars

Gah!! Why?? WHYYYY???

Today of all days is so busy at work that I can't duck out for lunch to Boca Grande for that burrito I've been craving. Deeeee-NIED.

Yes, I said Boca Grande. My favorite. My tried-and-true. There are other burrito places like it, but this one is mine. ;)

They closed down a location near me, so I can't get it on the way home anymore, but there are others where I work that I was planning on visiting. Even though it's storming outside! Even though I'm on my bike!

But meetings and work picked up and I can't get away. So. Tomorrow, or Friday even, I'll live the burrito dream :-)

"Paaaatience, my pet." *strokes imaginary cat* "It'll taste all the sweeter for the waiting...."


On top of this burrito-blocked crisis, I remember that I promised to do a review on the grab-and-go bars I like. A little share-all critique that stemmed from my adventures.

I haven't forgotten, my lovelies! I am putting together a top-5 list of my favorites and ex-favorites with that scathing expose I promised ;-)


Meanwhile... the ticker in my brain continues...

The Last Supper!

It's July 15th!

Do you know what that means??

I'm DONE!

FREEDOM! Burrito time! Nom nom paleo nom nom! Good heavens, I miss burritos... It's all I can think about for the past week... like a CNN ticker in my brain... "burrito burrito burrito"...

So, I did the whole day today also, just as extra penance for my GoRuck training sins. But I didn't suffer. Check out my last Paleo supper:

Not bad, eh?


Oh, delicious steak on a bed of amazing salad... yeah, cry for me.




Now that the 30 days is up, I find that I don't really want to change that much. I'll be relaxing the rules a bit on burritos, I guess, but that's pretty much it.

I really like this way of eating. I am a Paleo convert. Not in everything, mind you. I've done more reading on rice and some grains, and though maybe they're not the easiest things to digest, they are really not the evil that hard-core paleo fiends will tell you they are. And that's fine, everyone is free to make their choice and judgments.

But I remember many times when I had an achy tummy and a bowl of oatmeal helped. (Note: I'm not talking about that processed natural-flavors stuff, I'm talking about "Ingredients: Oats" oatmeal.)

And I remember how warm and soothing a fresh bowl of rice with a bit of butter and sugar felt after a long day of shoveling snow in the wintertime. (Note: If you haven't tried rice with sugar and butter mixed in, you're missing out.)

So no. I won't cut them out of my life completely. I believe they are fine in moderation.

The thing is, I have a re-calibrated sense of what "moderation" means.

I think bread and rice and grains are WAY too predominant in people's diets. Folks don't eat their vegetables anymore! Kids grow up thinking fruit is something your mom torments you into having instead of the freezer pops and instant pizza that are in constant supply in the fridge at home.

I feel like I don't really miss bread, beans, milk, beer, and so on, that much. I do like them, yes. But now that I know more about them, and I've actually had to live without them, I think I will continue to limit how often I have them and I will be more than okay :-)

One switch that has forever flipped is that all processed stuff is out of my life forever.

I just can't look at a wall of text on a label anymore and justify putting all that weird science into my shopping cart. I am now always going to ask "but what does 'natural flavor' mean? and why isn't what's in this flavorful enough?"

I was in a meeting at work today. Big group of people. There were cookies. The topic of why I wasn't having one came up. I was a bit shy about it, ever fearful of being "That Guy", but I told them I was on the last day of the 30 day Paleo challenge. We had a nice chat about what that was and my crazy reasons for trying it. It was a fun and interesting chat and everyone was super awesome about it.

I read one of the packages on the table. There were boatloads of random things I couldn't pronounce in it. I just looked at the size of the paragraph and thought again to myself -- "you've worked so hard... why would you mess with the good clean feeling you get from healthier eating to have this periodic table in your colon now?"

I don't mean to be the critic of critics... some uppity food aristocrat.... and I know I'm going to have treats again in this lifetime. But this is one major life-changing result from this experiment that I believe in and am going to live by: If something on the label sounds more like the contents of a petri dish than a garden, I'm going to pass.

Sorry, Keebler Elves. Our relationship is over.

Now.

Where's that burrito?

The Paleo GoRuck

So this weekend and July 4th weekend, I did two GoRuck events. If you don't know what GoRuck is, it's basically a military oriented company that both designs military gear and hosts intense team-building endurance events led by cadres with experience in the Special Forces of all branches in the military. It's basically team-boot-camp-hiking where the cadre assigns team objectives and doles out PT pain.

I did the Light last weekend and the Challenge this past Friday-to-Saturday. It was intense. It was grueling. And it was so much fun I can't wait to go again.

But why am I telling you this?

Because it is HARD to stick to Paleo when you're training for and doing these events! I have to admit, during the Light I had two granola bars on the breaks. How sad is that that that's a crime? And yet. So sayeth yon Paleo gods: Thou shalt not partake of yon grainy granola deliciousness.

I also had toast and cheese with my breakfast on the day after the Challenge. Because after 12 hours of pushing, you deserve sweet cheesy carby goodness. I mean, look at this holy mess and tell me you can't cut me some slack!

(I'm the second one on the left.)

Earlier this week, I got myself to the grocery store in time and loaded up on Larabars. If you haven't heard about these, get ON that! These things are wonderful. They add nothing to the recipe except for the things you want to eat!

It's always nice to have a quick snack on hand. Larabars helped keep me honest and paleo-compliant. Other than that, it's been bacon and eggs, chicken, veggies and fruits.

I've decided that tomorrow or the day after, I'm going to do a nitty gritty expose on granola bars. As a finely tuned label reader, I will share my personal reflections on what I like to eat and what I now choose to avoid. So many things claim to be healthy when they aren't.

So! That's the latest update from this end. Not a lot to report.

Three days to go!

WHO AM I ANYMORE???

I went into a pizza joint and ordered a salad.
I went to an ice cream shop and had sorbet.
I went to a fancy dinner and DIDN'T have the risotto. (I really wanted that damn risotto.)

Today I went out to dinner and ordered a salad that had greens, beets, hummus, apples, corn, carrots and cashews in it.

I picked out the corn.

I ... PICKED... out... the corn.

Who is this person??? Ah!

Well, I'm the git that has 7 days to go until the 15th releases me from this tyranny of no burritos. I have one week left until I get to re-evaluate the core principles of how Paleo will fit into the rest of my life.

I miss risotto. I miss rice. I miss desserts at restaurants that have more than 2 stars. I miss burritos. No, you don't understand. I really really miss burritos.

A friend and I were recently talking about Paleo, and what to do after the 30 days. We both agree it's a heck of a difference in how you feel. Maybe even how you look. I think my skin looks better. Also, I lost 6 lbs.

The greatest dilemma any dieter faces is "to cheat-day or not to cheat-day". One of my buddies -- not on Paleo -- is dieting, and takes Saturday as his cheat day. I don't even know if I can say "cheat day". It's more like "complete and utter resolve annihilation day" or "letting loose the hounds of hell day". He rips into the nastiest unhealthiest -- I mean, he really goes for it! And heaven love him, he's strict the other days in the week, and he's already lost 40 lbs, so it works for him. That seems too extreme for me.

My Paleo friend says when her 30 days are up, she's going to stick to it, but treat herself to one cheat-day a week. I was telling her my almighty plan to split that over my week and do 3 cheat meals. Say, on a night when I go out with friends for beers and chicken wings. Or a day when there's pizza in the office and I forgot my lunch.

The problem with that idea though is self-control. Does it count as a meal if someone offers me cake and I have some?  What if I have pizza an hour later? Is that one meal or two? Questions that boggle the mind...

I'm still deciding.
I have a week left before I even cross that bridge.

Maybe my hell-hound-loosing friend has it right.

But I know myself. If I had a whole day of naughty fooding, I'd buy so much, there'd be leftovers... and then where would I be?

Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Or maybe I should just have that damn burrito.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

Bonus giggle on the headline for you Archer fans ;-)

So here's a picture of my winner winner chicken dinner last night:

Spinach, kale, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, red peppers, and nice fresh fried up chicken bits on top. A bit of olive oil, salt, onion powder and paprika for dressing.

UNBELIEVABLE, I'm telling you. My head was in that dish like a hungry horse in a troth.

So yeah! Life is going good! I have 10 more days of Paleo left, but I'm not scared.

It's funny, though. In this season of cookouts and summer fun, I feel extra-surrounded by tons of deliciousness I can't eat.

I have a few friends who are health-conscious, too, (shout-out to my Facebook homies!) who are trying to eat right and exercise. Not necessarily Paleo, but they're overall trying to live a healthy life. Being surrounded by potato salads and cole slaw and burgers and hot togs and mesquite sauces and chips at barbecues and cookouts this summer is a challenge! Cuz you know what? That stuff tastes good!

So one of these friends and I were talking about cookouts the other day. She was nervous because the fourth was coming up and she was worried about how she was going to stick to healthy options and resist temptation and not overdo it on the delectable naughty stuff.

It's a common concern for dieters and healthy lifers alike. Barbecues are the staple of summer. You're meeting with friends and family and so much of the fun is derived from collectively eating massive quantities of food that you don't often see outside that setting.

But so many things at cookouts are heavy, unhealthy, rich or otherwise sinful. So what does a poor dieter do?

I think I have the answer. And it's one I accidentally stumbled onto... It's a switch in my brain I didn't realize got flipped. I don't know how or when it happened... but...

I separated the food from the friends.

Let me explain.

I think part of the pressure of eating wrong at these gatherings comes from the fact that you're going to a place where naughty food is and you feel expected to partake of said naughty food in the company of those around you. I think we've collectively associated that as part of the cookout ritual.

I don't have that association in my brain anymore.

When I think "cookout" now, I think: friends, laughter, maybe a drink after sunset, summer dresses and flip flops. Do you see what's not on the list?

I do understand that food is part of the package, and I am definitely concerned with side questions like "what do I bring?" and "I hope there's steak". But, if it makes sense, I don't have the two ideas related in my brain in terms of translating a cookout into being forced to eat wrong.

I used to have the instinctual reaction like my friend does, like she was telling me the other day, ie. "I'm going to a cookout, watch out, waistline!". Now, it's so separate in my head. I think "I'm going to a cookout, how fun! I get to see so-and-so and so-and-so"... my focus changed and I don't even know when.

I suspect that practice with this Paleo diet, being "that guy" a little bit, did it. I think those trips to restaurants with friends when I had to say no to that delicious roll or the do-it-yourself taco line forced me out of thinking that I had to eat what my friends were eating... I think that changed how I think about eating in public.

I feel, in part, that this Paleo adventure started out like a joke or a shameful secret. Kind of like "look what I'm doing at home! Tee hee! When no one's around, I'm going to try this and this and this..." and now I feel that because I've been trying to stay healthy when I'm out and about, and I learned the real value of eating well, I realize that I don't have to feel bad about being different -- that's it's not wrong to label myself as a healthy eater when I'm in public.

It's kind of empowering. It's kind of invigorating. And now I see that it severed an association in my mind I didn't know I ever had.

Food is separate from friends.

If I go to a cookout alone, would I eat everything that's on the table? No. I'd eat like I eat at home, something lean, something with a salad, maybe some fruit for dessert. So, why does that change because there are people around me?

Now, I can answer, that it doesn't.

I'll never be worried about cookouts again. I love my friends and I love going out to barbecues and seeing the roar of fires and crackles of meat on the flame. I'll bring spring salads and cuts of ribs and desserts I invented and thought people would like. I'll bring a 12 pack of something for the grownups and I'll have a merry time.

But I won't be tempted by the potato salad drenched in processed mayo. I can't look at a S'more and not think of the chemicals in the graham cracker, the natural flavors in the chocolate, and the bleach in the marshmallow. I genuinely don't want any of that stuff.

Not because I'm above it, I hope that's not how it sounds, just because, that's not where my attention goes anymore. I love that people are enjoying those nom noms, I love seeing the smiles on the kids' faces, smeared with chocolate and joy. But I don't want that food anymore. I like the way I eat now. And after working so hard for so long, and really learning about how some foods are really bad for me, there are things I just know for sure I'll never want again. Going to a party where that food exists won't sway me off that mindset.

I wonder if that makes sense to you dieters out there. I hope it does. It was a very strange thing to learn about myself, that part of the temptation was rooted in a self-created sense of peer pressure... super interesting.

I wish all of you a merry cookout season!! And to my waist-line worriers out there... If you haven't found that switch flipped for you yet, keep on fighting the good fight! Make a battle plan before you arrive! Pick the things you know are good for you ahead of time and don't be tempted off your goals! It's hard at the beginning, but it's worth it in the end :-)

Enjoy barbecues for the company, the sunsets, the laughter.

That's where the real joy is :-D

PRO-TIP: Don't leave your lunch at home!

Empty belly. Neglected salad waiting sadly at home, wondering what it did to upset me. Disappointed dreams of a lunch plan not realized.

Cuz I'm special. I forgot my lunch at home.

Irony of ironies, today's the day I remembered to take pictures, specifically with you in mind...

Behold how nicely I separated the veggies and the spinach... everything's all washed and cut and seasoned...

Check out those colors. All that deliciousness. So so far away.

D'oh!

Ah well. At least I have dinner ready.






Last night I made Kale Chips, too. 6 batches worth!

I ate a bunch last night, I saved some for today in a great big silver bowl, covered, at room temp, to see how they hold.

Will they still be crispy? Will they still be salty and amazing? Ooh, the suspense is killing me.

I tried one this morning, a particularly crunchy fellow at the top of the pile....

It was divine.... :-)








And, finally, just for fun... Behold, my favorite breakfast!

Yum yum eggs. Oh yee sweet delicious egginess. All ready to go. Just add bacon.










So, in conclusion -- as I sit here, hungry, lucky that there was a bit of sushi lunch to be had at work to hold me over (octopus sashimi of all things, woohoo fishy paleo!)... my lesson and pro tip to all you Paleo dieters out there is....

DON'T FORGET YOUR DANG LUNCH!

:-D

The chicken on my pizza is Paleo...

That was my Facebook status a couple days ago. For good reason. Short version, full confession: The deck was completely stacked against my diet and I caved.

We had a pizza party at work, a meeting with delicious baked goods, and a filming weekend coming up. I had no prep done, I was busy and drained. So I had a cheat day.

I don't feel too badly about it, I do feel bummed that I broke my streak, obviously, (I was at 11 days!) but I don't really feel like a failure. I hadn't planned right, I had literally nothing else -- but starving wasn't an option. My spirits also were just not up for such a fight because of the sheer busy-ness of the day. So I had some pizza, and a delicious slice of a coworker's baked creation, a strawberry sweet cake. It was divine. It also filled me up for the rest of the day.

I promised myself to make up for it by adding another day at the end of the 30. I did the math, I cross the challenge finish line on July 13th. I'll make it the 15th because I'm a superstitious gal. I think there's something finite and official and lucky about the ides of any month. (Even March. Hail poor Caesar.)

So. For good luck, I'm calling it on July 15th. At that point I will re-evaluate what this diet means to me, how I feel, and most importantly, what I will plan to do next.

The oddest thing on my cheat day was, that whenever I had a non-paleo meal, I felt sluggish. It's weird, because it was so subtle and completely not noticeable unless you're looking for it. I certainly never noticed it before I started eating salads for days on end and realized by stark comparison what bread made me feel.

I think at least some of what they say about wheat and diary is true. They are heavy foods. If you're used to eating them all the time, it makes sense that you get used to feeling a bit slow after every meal. But now that I've been eating better and obsessing over labels, the difference is clear.

In that observation, I've achieved the real goal of this test. I saw for myself how it feels to eat clean and then compare the feeling to what happens when I eat what I previously regarded not only as normal food, but in most cases, as healthy food. My life is changed forever by this experience.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I know now, because of this challenge, that wheat is going under the 'treat' category of my life. It really truly is low in nutrition and high in sloth content. I felt the difference for myself, there's no question.

Gone are the days of sandwiches several times a day and toast on the side of my eggs and bacon. I'm genuinely concerned with things like vitamins and proteins and healthy ways to fuel my system. It's like my view has changed on what gives my body the best bang for its buck.

I've learned to shop in the produce isle. I've found a good groove for dealing with meats and prepping my kitchen. I love fruits and veggies so much, I can barely understand the sweetness levels of candy anymore (I had M&Ms on my cheat day. Even a Twizzler. Holy pajama pants, what a jolt! Fun, but you know what? I would have traded them for raspberries in a heart beat.)

I feel re-synced with the natural order of things. I feel great. That said, I won't cut bread out of my life completely when this is over. Doesn't everyone deserve the occasional buttered roll? And I still believe that rice and oatmeal are healthier than the rap they get from Paleo aficionados. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

For now, I've got my eyes on the finish line. July 15th, here I come! There are more bumps ahead. I have filming today and two endurance races that stand between me and the final goal.

I feel like I'm going to need these next two weeks to figure out the balance I'm looking for.

Diets never work. It has to be a steady constant life choice, that's the only thing that will stick and work for anyone.

It's that way of life I'm trying to figure out now. I'm testing and tinkering -- and ultimately choosing what I'm going to commit to. That stretches way past the reaches of this challenge. I'm not thinking of these next 14 days anymore. (I've got these two weeks in the BAG!)

No, I'm thinking of what happens after that.

:-)

RIDICULOUSLY CLOSE CALL!

WOW, was yesterday fun. But bad news bears in food land!

Let me explain.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure and privilege to go to the "Children's Grownups Museum Party", which, on top of being awesome in and of itself, was also 80's themed this time!

I got to blow bubbles, climb a pint sized rock wall, jump rope (I won the contest!), do a crazy photobooth with my friends and siblings, double-dutch, put together a puzzle in the kindergarten room (why did we grownups ever stop playing with blocks???), mess around with water dams and buckets, sit on bird statues and dance the electric slide. It was a top night, one for the record books!

But food-wise, I came SO ridiculously close to breaking the diet, it's not even funny.

So I had a good 6 hour gap between lunch and dinner -- plus a bike ride commute in between -- I was, therefore, hungry when I got to the museum. I had no emergency stash on me, even the granola bar I keep in the car for hunger emergencies has oats and grains in it :-(

At the party, they had a make-your-own-taco bar. Fantastic! It was also literally the only easy food option for miles (not counting precious-time-sucking sit-down restaurants). All the cafes and shops in that area close at business end times. Even Au Bon Pain right next door was closed at 6:30. Their loss, they would have made a killing last night.

Anyway, to the taco line I went. Here were the options, in order:
-- Hard/soft taco shell
-- Chicken/Beef
-- Rice/Chili/Black Beans
-- Tex Mex salad (corn, tomato, cilantro, onions, & who knows what else)
-- Sour Cream/Cheese/Verde Sauce
-- Tomatoes/Onions/Lettuce

Yeah. Delicious, right? The problem is that only the last line and the meat options are Paleo compliant. But I was with a bunch of people, and they were hungry too, so I quickly formulated a master plan.

I built the best taco ever (soft shell, chicken, chili & rice, bit of corn salad, sour cream, cheese), then on the side, I PILED (and I do mean piled) on several scoopfuls of tomatoes, onions, and lettuce. The plan being, I eat the greens and one of my cohorts takes the taco I wish I could eat. Two folks eat for the price of one! Genius, right?

For a bit, I thought my plan backfired! My buddies were horrified that I had built the dream masterpiece and planned NOT to eat it. What a crime! they said. "Go on, just today, it's not that unhealthy!" They were right of course, it really wasn't unhealthy food, but I whined about my streak and how I had 6 days under my belt and really wanted to make it to 30 without having to start all over... It was really hard!

My sister finally stepped up. Just in time, too. I was milliseconds away from caving. I'm not exaggerating, my next forkful was aimed at the chili - beans and all.

Saved thusly from the woeful abyss of failure, I happily enjoyed the rest of the night. The veggies were definitely no dream-taco, but they held me up pretty well :-)

Later on, I won a free drink from the jump rope contest. I really wanted a beer. But I wasn't going to break that easy after my recent willpower win, so I picked the red wine -- the healthiest alcohol "allowed" on Paleo. (Though, question, since Mead is made from honey, can I have that? Short answer - yes! Here's a full list of allowed adult bevies if you're interested.)

After the party, we found a nice place for dinner. One of those places that doesn't serve burgers and where the chef signs the menu.

There came my second challenge! I looked over all the delectable offerings woefully. All of them sounded divine, but most came on a bed of bread or with special cream sauces or cheese spreads...

I wound up ordering a side. The ONLY side that was Paleo friendly was the beets/cauliflower/greens/horseradish dish.

After we all ordered, the wait staff came out to each of us with a specialty roll, warm from the oven, with butter on the side. This was a gourmet mini-bread, specially made for individual consumption. It smelled amazing. It looked really good. I had a hard time saying no. (Don't worry, it definitely got eaten. :-p)

Out came the meals. My side came out in a tiny dish, looking small but smelling like heaven. It was late, I wasn't in the mood for a full meal anyway. My friends shared a bit of their giant chicken with me, too, so I was very soon legitimately stuffed! I was surprised by that :-)

So. Thus ends the thrilling tale of my brush with dietary failure. Yes, readers, I dodged many a bullet yesterday! I am super pleased with the outcome :-) I ate well, I wasn't starved at all, and - most importantly - I hit day 7 today!!! :-)


WOOHOOO!

The Swings of the Pendulum

Ooooooh, dramatic title! I feel like it could grace the cover of a Romance Novel or maybe a Grisham thriller....

ANYWAY.

Earlier on in this diet, I went though the phase of wanting to inhale everything under the sun. Now the pendulum seems to have swung the other way.

For the past 5 days, I've not been very hungry at all. It's the weirdest feeling.

Friday I ate 3 eggs in the morning, a pint of raspberries for lunch, some snow peas, and then some strawberries and a banana for dinner. I drank coffee and tea with honey. That's not a lot of food. I used to comfortably eat that much in one sitting.

Saturday, I ate pretty normally. 3 light meals - a strawberry & banana shake in the morning, chicken & peppers stir fry for lunch and again for dinner. (I was all about the chicken stir fry that day :-) )

Sunday, filming day, I ate very little but I didn't feel too hungry. I had some red cabbage in the morning, a couple carrots and a celery stick for lunch, a Larabar, a baked potato, a bit of tomatoes and peppers, and some snow peas for the midnight drive home. It's a lot of ingredients, but the amount itself could seriously fit onto one plate and have room left over.

Monday I had a bit more, 3 eggs in the morning, a steak (small -- I fried it for myself to take to work with me), and dinner was at a seafood restaurant where I had salmon and artichoke hearts. It was a very good meal.

Tuesday was scary. I woke up, ate nothing, rode my bike into work (6+ miles), ate nothing, drank some coffee, felt hungry, ate a small plate of mixed fruit, some water, long break of nothing, then Larabar for lunch - but I couldn't finish it in one sitting. I literally had half at noon and the other half at like 3. Then there was a salad and smoothie for dinner, after which I went kickboxing with a friend, after which I rode the bike 8+ miles back home.

And I wasn't hungry at all at the end of all that. Most of the time when I work out for 2 hours I feel like a food vacuum. Yesterday, nothing. Not the slightest pang of hunger.

Today is just as bizarre. This morning I had 2 eggs (3 is too much now), a handful of mixed nuts & seeds for a snack, and 6 small bits of sashimi for lunch. I know there's a light dinner somewhere yet to come, but I don't anticipate it being a big affair.

All I can say is WOW.

It seems a bit low in calories, which worries me. I'm terrified of triggering the starvation reflex. I think my total caloric intake these past few days ranges between 600-1200 a day... but I'm choosing to listen to my body on this one. I literally don't want to eat more, so I won't.

Maybe it's the summer? I can't be sure. I don't know what's going on, but I do know that I feel wonderful. I'm eating super clean and I feel fueled and happy.

I wonder if the pendulum is doomed to swing back to super-hunger territory again... I should squirrel away some nuts just in case. ;-)

Getting Help

I'm being strict in my tracking, so it's technically officially day 4 of this challenge since I started properly COUNTING. I know I'm going to make it to day 30 (Goonies never say die). But even so, I had a nightmare last night that I broke my streak again.

I was out with friends and we went to a fair, there were tables set up selling and giving away all sorts of goodies. I was doing fine resisting temptation, but one table had gluten-free muffin/donut hybrid pastries that were coated with a nice sugar-glaze and someone pulled me into taking not one, but TWO of them. Gluten-free doesn't NOT mean Paleo, I knew as I took the first bite. I devoured both of them and immediately felt guilty for breaking the diet.

Worse nightmares have been had, right? But wow. I woke up feeling so relieved that it was only a dream!

Yesterday I was up in Maine helping my friend film. I was a bit nervous. Not about the long shoot, but about what I'd eat while I was there. I had to plan. I was determined not to break. 

So I packed a fruit bar (Larabaars have amazing stuff that really is Paleo, and Trader Joe's recently started making dried fruit bars that only have two ingredients. Both brands really have no preservatives. Just dried fruit.) and some pre-washed veggies for the road. It was an early morning drive, so I stopped off to get some coffee. I refused the temptation of cream and sugar and pastries and just asked for a large black coffee.

I felt very proud of myself :-)

My friend's mom cooked for us film hands. She took amazing cares. There were loads of goodies. Sadly, I very much felt like this:

Still, there was a lot to pick from and I didn't go hungry. I had an amazing baked potato with bacon, salt, and two types of green onions. I know that doesn't sound much without, say, sour cream or butter, but I'm telling you, it was it a real treat. 

(For the record, if it weren't for bacon and salt, I legit would have lost my mind on this diet by the second blog entry.)

A friend last week told me another key to actually succeeding in this challenge was to tell people that I'm doing it. There are impromptu sponsors to be had when you're facing temptation. If folks know what you're trying to achieve, they'll help keep you both sane and honest.

That's so true. It was pretty noticeable yesterday, for example, when I couldn't make myself a sandwich or have any of the amazing homemade chili. So I told my peeps why. I was really afraid of being "That Guy", but it actually made for fun conversation and I got a lot of support. :-)

I feel good :-) I have my goal and I have support.

This is going to be a fun 26 days :-D

Number of Days Since Last Incident

We all know these signs, right?

I need one. It should read "___ Days Since Last Incident". So far, I think my record is... five days? I'm not sure. This is why I need the sign.

So, I mentioned that Empty-Fridge-Monday was a bit of a scrounge day, but since then it was Paleo and fruits and all good things. Until yesterday. My boss took our team out for lunch. I sinned hard. Pretty dumplings in noodle soup. It was divine, I refuse to repent. But I did break my streak of 3 days, which makes me feel a bit bummed out.

I heard a report on NPR this morning about rehab programs. I feel like I'm a wheat addict. I can't quit it completely and I'm constantly surrounded by temptation.

When I'm fending for myself, it's not a problem. I've even learned how to order smart at restaurants. Some restaurants, I mean. You know you're in trouble if you go to a noodle place or any cultural food establishment. But I can deal with any place that has salads and steak tips and fried chicken. I went to one yesterday. I didn't eat the mashed potatoes that came with my dish, I'm very proud of myself :-)

I prefer cooking for myself because I know what goes into my food and I can really play with spicing if I want to live it up. I'm planning to toy more with dehydrating recipes and I eventually want to make my own beef jerky. THAT would be such a win. I miss beef jerky. I used to think it was healthy before I started reading labels more closely.

I didn't really have a goal set in mind when I embarked on this food adventure. I was thinking I just want to try this out, as well as add benefit to training for some races I have coming up.

Now I'm thinking I should try the proper "30 Day Challenge" that I hear everyone tries. I'm terrified at the prospect. I have a lot of busy people-filled traveling weekends coming up, and I just don't know if I'm going to be able to keep the diet, strictly speaking from a logistics perspective. I mean, I guess I could stuff home-made nut bars into a fanny pack....

So here I sit, starting again with Day 1. Contemplating my surroundings.

I don't know how I'm going to make it 30 straight days.....

The Case of the Empty Fridge

The trip is over. The journey home was long. I got home groggy.

To an empty fridge.

Sigh.

I tried to stick to my promise, so I grumpily scrounged for the next two days. I had a couple fruits lying around, I bought a salad here and there... until I finally found a moment to get to the grocery store.

Last night I went food shopping at last! Bought a family size pack of chicken, eggs, snow peas, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and kale. Yay!

I was hankering for nuts when I was out shopping. I looked at a bunch of bags of trail mix and mixed nuts, I couldn't buy any! Peanuts. Peanuts everywhere!! I miss peanuts. I enjoy them. But, alas, not allowed. Sneaky legume.

I prepped the chicken and made a stir fry. I even had some peppers left from before the trip. I love peppers. Bless those little guys for their long fridge life :-)

I think I overdid it for the fruit buying. NEVER shop on an empty stomach! I'm a little worried about eating it all before it goes bad! I think I will. ;-)

Boring and short, this update is. But not all of Paleo is glamorous and adventurous. ;-)

Next week, I'm going to bake. Bread. I miss it. Buttered toast, specifically. So I'm going to try to make crumpet-type muffins and see how well they toast :-)

In the meantime, yay fruit smoothies!

True Confessions of a Modern Nomad

Ooooh dear readers. What a ride this week has been!

So. The conference was a whirlwind of amazing feasts and broken Paleo promises. Here's a basic confessional of everything I ate this week....

Monday night (after my last entry):

-- For lunch, I went back to that "Place to get a Great Salad" place, which I learned is called "Leaf". It was amazing! And I did what I promised! I had a proper Paleo meal! Cobb Salad, no cheese, no bread, just olive oil dressing. Go me! Funny thing is I was able to eat the whole salad at once. I was hungry, yes, but I also think the lack of cheese didn't make me feel like it was a heavy meal.

-- For dinner, we went to Perla's on South Congress St. I had grilled Alaskan Fish, white wine, and a crazy amazing cream fruit dessert. I can't tell you how amazing the meal was. This was one of those super fancy menu places. And I didn't feel stuffed. It was perfect. Paleo-wise, there was a wine sauce on the fish, but that was the only rule that I broke for my meal. The dessert was definitely not Paleo, but it was tiny and really artsy and special, so I'm not even going to fuss about it! YUM!

Tuesday:

-- Breakfast: black coffee, apples. Great breakfast! I win!

-- Lunch: Ruh-roh! The conference had a sandwich selection. I went with a roast beef, potato salad and cole slaw on the side. siiiiigh. I even had chips. I don't know what possessed me to have the chips. *hangs head in shame* I felt a bit full, definitely not my best decision. At least it tasted good! :-D

-- Dinner was at La Condesa. We had amazing culinary delights again. Tapas style appetizers. I ate salsa, guacamole, cactus, octopus, beef, and a artisan sherberty fruit dessert. The whole meal was like eating art. This food wasn't cooked, it was designed. No, not Paleo. But not really unhealthy either! :-D

Wednesday:

-- Breakfast: black coffee, dried apple bars. Yay Paleo!

-- Snack at the conference: More dried fruit. Persimmons. Still being Paleo!

-- Lunch: Pasta buffet at the conference. Deeeefinitely not Paleo. (womp womp.) What blew my mind was how I felt after. This was the first pasta I'd had in about 3 weeks, but I didn't load my plate and I didn't feel full. Still, despite not overdoing the amount, I still felt SUPER TIRED. And I do mean tired. Sluggish. I had the 'itis' so bad.

     I drank 2 cups of coffee to try to make it through the day, but I still had the food coma worse than I remember in a long time. On this diet, I actually forgot what food coma feels like. Weird, right??? I was so surprised. I absolutely blame the pasta.

-- Dinner: Ranch 616. Straight up comfort food heaven. Food styles spanning from the Gulf Coast to midland Texas and further south. We ordered an appetizer plate the size of our table, on which we had samples of quail, frog legs, veal, beef, chicken, and a bit of cabbage and mashed potatoes on the side for fun. Yes, I said appetizer. I also tried my first Mexican beer, "Tecate". Me gusto. Me gusto mucho.

     So my meal was a steak on a bed of boiled potatoes in a butter sauce, topped with buttered crab meat with asparagus on the side. Super in line with Paleo! Though I can't be sure it's all Paleo, because I'm not sure what else was in the butter sauce.

     I was so full. What a wonderful feast!

Thursday:

-- Breakfast: black coffee, dried figs and banana chips. Go me!

-- Lunch: A couple friends and I went back to Leaf. I had the tuna fish salad with red wine vinaigrette. I think it's Paleo, because I'm allowed red wine and vinegar, but like the butter sauce, I don't know what else is in their vinaigrette recipe. Everything else was definitely Paleo :-)

-- Dinner: We found a cute coffee/sandwich place called Jo's. The kind of cafe that makes breakfast tacos and dinner plates. I totally went for it. Frito pie with pulled pork and fries, and homemade pecan pie for dessert. Followed by a beer or two. (*cou-THREE-gh*)



Let's be honest here, I wasn't even trying. Mostly because I just had to know what a "Frito Pie" was.

Friday:

-- Breakfast: black coffee and fruit.

-- Lunch: I wasn't really hungry today, I was running errands and didn't feel hungry until later.

-- Dinner: Southern comfort food care of Threadgill's. Cheese grits, collard greens, Salisbury steak and rolls. The Southern Last Supper. I never had collard greens and I only had cheese grits once ever, so I was dying to try. The meal was so rich and flavorful, I couldn't finish it all. Wow.

Saturday:

-- Breakfast: Coffee and an apple.

-- Lunch: Caught up with a friend for one last lunch before going home. We wound up going to Threadgill's again, where I had chicken livers and popcorn shrimp with fries. Again, so delicious and rich, I couldn't eat it all.

-- Dinner: Coffee and another apple. It was a looooong flight home.



What a week! I don't think I was very Paleo, but I did my best in my alone time. I came home to an empty fridge, too, so I'm going to need to food shop tomorrow. Today I spent part of the day with family, and, full disclosure, pizza may or may not have been involved.... sigh. *hangs head*

Okay, okay. Tomorrow's Monday. Monday, the diet starts again!

Texas Paleo

So staying Paleo in Austin is not as impossible as I was afraid it would be! I'm not perfect, but I'm doing really well :-)

The trip here was pretty good. I only had black coffee on the plane. I didn't feel hungry that early in the morning, so sticking to my promise for the morning leg was easy.

I got hungry in Dallas, where my flights connected. I was still determined to keep my promise, so I was already reaching for the dried fruit in my carry-on. But guess what they had in the food court? A smoothie bar! And I don't mean with the fake stuff, I mean straight up fruits and ice in a blender. SQUEE!!

The hardest part was ignoring the myriad of delicious smelling food joints on the way. Taco places, burrito places, pizza places, both big chains and local mom&pop booths... The very hotbed of southern food temptation!

But I'm glad I did. That fruit smoothie was delicious and it held me over for a good few hours.

After I got to my hotel, I took a walk-about town. I thought for sure that I needed to find a grocery store or something in order to keep my food promise, but I ran into the perfect place!

The place is called 'Leaf' and has a sign outside of it that reads "The Place for a Great Salad". Awesome! Of course I went in. And the name was not a lie!

I got a giant bowl of Cobb deliciousness. I sinned a little, because they had a bit of cheese and dressing in the salad, and I have to confess that when the guy asked me if I wanted a slice of bread, I caved. But it was an amazing meal and I had some left for dinner later because the portion was so big. I'd say I did quite well!

True, not 100% Paleo. But a much healthier food choice than I thought I had a chance to find!

I went grocery "hunting" later. I found a CVS. Not exactly a Wholefoods, but I raided the shelves for anything I could eat.

It was a heck of an adventure. I passed by shelves and shelves of snacks and crackers and jerky and trail mix that I used to think were healthy but now I can't even touch. I didn't see a single thing without wheat for three rows straight. And nothing gluten free (though, true, CVS isn't the place to look for that).

I couldn't have any trail mix because of the peanuts. I couldn't have the dried fruit because of the chemicals and preservatives. It's such an eye opening experience to read labels in the store now. You always think "Natural Flavors" sounds a bit sketchy, but when you stick to this diet and have to force yourself to put it back and keep going, it opens your eyes to just how little you can eat.

It limits options, yes, but, for me, it also raises my standards. There's a line in the sand now. Because of my experiment with this diet, I have a new rule: If I can't pronounce it, I probably shouldn't eat it. I think I like this rule.

I finally found a box of raisins. I flipped it over, expecting to read more "polysorbates" and "hydrogenated oil" or "treated with nitrate to retain freshness", when all that greeted me was Ingredients: Raisins. YES! I totally got some and went on my merry.

The next morning I went to see what my hotel's breakfast options were. Pretty much what I expected. Snack bars, muffins, oatmeal packets, granola bars, apples, oranges, coffee, tea, even Sanka. I grabbed a cup of black coffee and two oranges. Pretty super :-)

I went sight-seeing. I got hungry after a few hours, so I sat down to have a snack. I ate a couple packets of raisins on a nice bench just outside the statehouse. I'm not much of a raisin person. I used to think they were very plain. Now I'm surprised to find that they were almost too sweet for me!

I don't know what's happening to my taste buds. But since I don't snack on just anything anymore, fruit seems much sweeter than I ever remember it being. So weird. Very cool. :-)

I tried to go to the same salad place for dinner. I was fully planning to skip the bread and ask them to hold the cheese and the dressing this time. Olive oil and salt make a pretty great dressing. But they were closed! Ah!

I went to the sushi place across the street. It was the healthiest option at hand. Again not Paleo, but better for me than Taco Pizza. :-) I ate a plain salmon roll and an eel avocado roll. They were delicious and filling.

I am torn when it comes to rice and oatmeal. I love them. I love how I feel when I eat them. I feel satisfied, not overloaded. My body feels happy. I don't know how long I plan to try sticking to Paleo, but I don't think rice and oatmeal are evil and I don't think I can give them up forever.

I understand the science behind avoiding wheat, but everything I've read so far proves problems manifesting in people with legitimate allergies, and things that happen when people eat too much wheat. But... everything in excess is bad! You can even drink water until you die! So, is it really a surprise that folks who eat too much wheat are going to get sick?

In a related argument, try reading the bread ingredients when you go to the grocery store next. Behold the wall of text that greets you. Look at all those chemicals!

So now I'm led to ask -- the research that's done on wheat -- are part of the effects reported actually from that OTHER stuff? I think any scientist would be hard pressed to find someone alive now who doesn't have these other chemicals in their system. So I'm not sure I believe that all of their conclusions about long term digestive damage is solely caused by wheat. (For average, non-allergic people like me, I mean.)

People have had food enemies since the onset of global media. In the 80s, people feared butter. Olea and crisco and margerine made names for themselves. Then it was eggs. Then, wait, no, just the egg yokes. Then, sugar. Say hi to Nutrasweet! Then, soy. Then, not soy! Then milk. Cream. Now it's grains and wheat?

So pardon me if I raise an eyebrow. I do think too much is bad, but I definitely need to read more before I can slam down all wheat completely.


Meanwhile, back to Austin, this morning I went for a run and had a nice dried fruit breakfast. Dried bananas and mangoes and black coffee. I feel light and full of energy. I feel very good.

Today is the first day of the conference. Tonight I'm getting together for dinner with some of my coworkers. We're going to a famous local restaurant. I am curious to see what the menu offers :-D

Maybe I'll tell them about my blog and ask if they have Paleo menu options.

Or maybe I won't. Maybe my mouth will be too full of burger ;-D

Texas Anxiety

Yeeeeehaw! Guess who's going to Texas next week!!!

The land of the steer! The Lone Star Steak! I mean, 'State'. Where everything is bigger! Where BBQ and Burgers were perfected!

I am goring for a conference. I'm excited for the trip but I'm anxious about the diet. I want to be good, but I do NOT want to miss out on the cuisine! "Trying the food" is such a huge and enjoyable part of traveling. Plus, I'm going to be dining out with folks, trying to enjoy the local atmosphere to the fullest, and on top of the feeling of sadness I'd get from denying myself that experience, being 'that guy' on a trip is way worse than being 'that guy' at home.

Friends, let's face it. The LAST thing on my to-do list in the Land of Milk and Honey-Mustard is to order the House Salad with the Dressing on the side.

I think I've come up with a fair compromise:

I promise myself that when I'm alone, I will stick to Paleo. I won't splurge on beloved coffee treats or cinnamon buns at breakfast. Well, maybe if it's something local and authentic and I'll never see it again. But on the whole, if I'm alone and I'm hungry, I'm going to stick to the diet. I even packed up some dried fruits/nuts/etc to take with me in case of emergency.

But when I'm out with folks and the POINT of the outing is to try something local and famous and delicious, I am going to live a little and try something new!

I think that's fair. I figure this way, I'll still be 50% Paleo at the worst. I think that's decent :-)

And of course... I'm going to kvetch about everything!

Woohoo, readers! See you in Texas!

Mad Scientist!

Mwahahahaha! It's aliiiiiiiiiiive!!!!!!!!

Or, you know, it was alive before it ended up on my skillet. (Apologies, vegetarian comrades. Poor taste. I mean, you know, the joke, poor taste. Not the steak. The steak was delicious.)

ANYWAY.

This past weekend, I set some time aside for those cooking experiments I promised myself (and you) I'd do. Here's a breakdown of what happened....

---

TORTILLA FAIL

Sadness. So many wasted ingredients. I'm pretty sure tortillas aren't supposed to look like this:

Attempt 1:
Coconut flour, almond meal, water, salt, baking soda
It looked fine on the pan but then crumbled to bits
when I tried to flip it. Cue sad trombone.

Attempt 2:
Coconut flour, salt, egg, water.
I tried to make a firm dough and roll it
out before frying. It held on the pan better,
but was crumbly and hard.

I tried finding a good recipe, but all of them use regular flour or corn meal. I saw one recipe that used guar gum, too. Guar gum would make the dough gooey, but it comes from a bean, so ...

Sigh. Who knew a paleo tortilla would be this elusive??

I will do it. *crosses arms defiantly*

---

PANCAKE WIN!!

Super fluffy, too!!! Here's the recipe I invented. You can sweeten them more or less, according to your taste :-)

This makes about 6-8 pancakes:

4 tbsp coconut flour
3 tbsp almond flour
2 tbsp agave syrup
1.5 tsp baking soda
1/3 stick of melted butter
4 eggs
1 pint raspberries
+ water (added bit by bit)
+ butter (to fry on)

Basically, mix everything. Make the batter syrupy so it's not runny, but a bit firm. Fry on low heat, on melted butter so your pancake doesn't stick.

I didn't add the raspberries until the pancake was on the pan. That way I could stuff them in without having to mash them, and I could have as many as I wanted ;-)

---

MMM... CHIPS...

Seems easy enough to slice something thinly, slap some olive oil and salt on either side, and stuff it into the oven at 350 degrees until brown.

And by "seems", I mean, "is".

These are potato chips.

Potatoes are one of the veggies you have to be sparing with on this diet, but today was the first I'd had a potato in a while. I got two batches from about 3 medium potatoes.

I put olive oil on the pans and on each face, and then sprinkled salt where I wanted it. I even tried rosemary and thyme and other spices :-)

So far, I've also made chips out of sweet potatoes and eggplant (yes, readers! THAT eggplant!). I've had good results all around!

I tried bananas once, too, but the sugar in the fruit made them burn quicker, and the oven didn't dry the fruit. I don't know if chips are possible with sweet fruit. I think fruit chips are made through dehydration. I'll try again on a lower oven setting to see what happens. :-)

---

GUACAMOLE-MOLE-MOLE!

I have few things of in my life I'm proud of as much as I'm proud of Saturday's guacamole. I... NAILED... it!

Recipe:
2 avocados (though, I ate a slice or two while making it)
1 plum tomato
1/3 sweet onion (or not sweet, if you like the tang)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
salt/spice to taste

Mash up the avocados (I did it with a fork. You can show off and use a blender.) Get the avocado as smooth as you can. Dice the tomato and the onion finely, but don't mash it. Add the vinegar. Or, lime if you have it. (I didn't, but I regret nothing.) Salt/spice to your liking.

It's also another kind of personal victory for me. I finally succeeded at picking avocados that ripened perfectly before I cut them open. *insert sweet dance here*

So, I'm giving myself TWO points for this win!

Plus, the guac went pretty darn well with the chips I made ;-)

---

I am so happy with the food I've made!

This weekend, I also made a cabbage dish which I'll talk about another time, and macaroons that burned and failed, which I'll talk about never again.

I can't wait to see what's next! Among other ideas, I've got apple chips and muffins in my cross hairs. So many experiments to be had! This Paleo diet is far from boring!

MUST EAT ALL THE FOODS!

Unhinge jaw. Insert food. That's me today.

I had like four meals at work. I say 'meals' as if I can count out separate times of eating, which is misleading, since I pretty much just ate non-stop.

I destroyed a crown of broccoli, a pint of raspberries, a banana, an egg, some lettuce, chicken, bacon, and a fruit shake I made. I stopped just long enough to type this. And you know what? I don't know if I'm done!

I heard from my coworkers who'd tried the diet themselves that there would be days when I'd basically eat the contents of a grocery store. I've had days like that, I thought, so I wasn't surprised by the amount of food that just went in me.

What I was surprised by was the genuine ferocity of my appetite. All day, I'd feel really really hungry, eat, and then within two hours feel insanely ravenous again. Picture the Cookie Monster in a Mrs. Fields factory.

I coined a term for days like today. I call them "Rugaru" days.

What the heck is a Rugaru? It's basically a Werewolf-Chupacabra that eats and eats. In some stories, it eats people.

(I first learned about this creature on Supernatural. I do so love that show. Come on, you know you love it, too. ;-) )

Anyway, it's said that especially while in transition to monsterhood, the Rugaru will know insatiable and uncontrollable hunger. That pretty much sums me up today. A nom nom hurricane.

I read that fierce hunger like this can be indicative of a vitamin deficiency. If that was the case, I feel really good that all I had was healthy stuff near me. And I hit all the checkpoints on what's left of the food pyramid, so I think the right vitamins must have made their way into the chasm at some point. Yay, prep! All that planning totally saved me.

The fruit shake was especially satisfying. Deeeeeelicious! I blended bananas, pears, grapefruit and that pineapple I told you about. Absolute perfection! :-D It was the last thing I inhaled, too, and I haven't felt hungry since. Maybe that's what I needed. Some Vitamin Fruit.

So there you go. Day 5. Expect to become a fresh food vacuum cleaner.

I wonder if I'm going to feel the food crazies like that again, or if today's Hunger Games were just part of the initial detox my body is probably going through right now... I have no idea.

We'll see soon enough, I bet :-)

Welcome to being "that guy"!

I hear it all the time, that the first few days of this diet are brutal. I dunno. So far I feel.... fine.

Maybe hearing the rumor so much makes me wonder if I'm under-angry. Maybe the occasional slip-up keeps me feeling normal. I do know that staying on top of kitchen prep has helped a lot. :-)

Yesterday I almost had an angry moment. I was visiting a friend and she was having ice cream. She offered me some, like 4 times. I confess I had a teensy bit. I just couldn't take it! And only one spoon, I swear! Gotta tell ya, though, that spoonful curbed the impulse to kill. But still. Now I feel guilty.

I think part of the "I just started Paleo" anger stems from the feeling of isolation. So many snacks and desserts and meals are so ingrained in our lives, we don't even realize it. It's hard to realize it now and say no to it all. Some things aren't even that bad! Things like cheese or rice. I mean, come on! We're seriously carving out more than half the food pyramid here!

BEFORE

AFTER

When I'm alone, it's not a big deal. But when I find myself out and about, that's when it happens... Someone generously offers me something, that -- let's be honest here -- was MORE than good enough for me last week, and now I have to say no. It stinks! I feel bad, they feel bad, everyone feels bad!

Food outings mean new sadness. No more burritos. No more pizza nights. No more rice pilaf on the side. No more fondue. (Ok, I had fondue, like, once. But still!)

What's worse, I feel myself becoming "that guy".

No one likes "that guy"!

Sigh.

Sigh again.

Sometimes at least, I get to not look like "that guy" even though I'm obviously having "that guy" thoughts. Example: Today there was a meeting at work. The lovely woman running the meeting enjoys baking. She brings in treats for these meetings, which, of course, is many kinds of awesome.

Today she made brownies.

From scratch.

The tin was right in front of me. The brownies hadn't even been cut yet. The smell of fresh delicious chocolaty goodness filled the room. The meeting started, the tray was passed around, and, thankfully, no one said anything when I didn't take one.

I felt happy. A little sorry, yes, but everyone else enjoyed them on my behalf, and I didn't ruffle any feathers. So, yay!

Durnit, now I can't stop thinking about chocolate. Technically the cocoa bean was around in caveman times, right? One thing about being on this diet nowadays is the ability to turn to the Google gods for answers in times of crisis like this... Because YES! I CAN HAZ PALEO BROWNIE!!! Oh, I'm so adding this to the experiment list...

Blessed be the entrepreneurial spirit. Just the prospect of experiments dissolves all anger!

I hereby declare that if I make any cool recipes of my own, I'ma put out a cookbook. I think I'll call it "That Guy's Guide to Treats" :-D